Monday, May 15, 2006

I'll Have it My Way

I'm a control freak. I think I just have to admit it. I've always known that I was opinionated, but lately I am feeling a bit more rigid than that. I simply like things the way I like them.

Duncan Donuts is big up here in the Northeast. In Texas, not so much. In fact, Duncan Donuts is consistently voted the best coffee in Connecticut. I don't really care for it. It's a bit weak for me. If I'm going to drink coffee, I like it strong and flavorful, with half and half. At Duncan Donuts, they don't even have half and half, and you can't make your own coffee. They fix it for you. So, the fact that I would be irritated that someone else would try to fix my coffee, because they couldn't possibly do it just like I wanted, made me begin to think about my control-freak tendencies.

The other thing that got me thinking that I thought that my way was the only way, was when I was recovering from knee surgery. For a few days, I was pretty much bed ridden. Terry was a pretty good nurse, but I found myself irritated that he wasn't doing things "right" (meaning, my way). From the bed, I could see him cleaning the bathtub--wrong. Why should I care? He's cleaning the bathtub!

We had a discussion about laundry last night. I would be irritated when he tried to throw a load of laundry in for himself. As he pointed out, I shouldn't care, because it's his laundry and he's doing it. However, as the domestic engineer of our home, I see things in a broader scope. Yes, perhaps he has done a full load of laundry, but that load might include a dress shirt, T-shirts, socks, jeans and a few towels to round it out. It isn't economical, because the kids probably have a couple of darks that could have been washed and don't make a full load on their own, but again, why should I care? He's doing laundry!

So, in trying to get this on paper, I notice that I keep describing my attitude as "irritated," and realize I need to get over myself, and let these little things go. There's no reason to be irritated about those issues. The funny thing is that knowing this, someone would assume that I am probably a perfectionist about things, and the sad thing is I am not. I seem to have the negative side of being a control freak, and am missing the positive aspects of being organized and efficient that often go hand and hand with it. So maybe I should just give myself over to the lazy, lackadaisical part of myself who would not be bothered by the bathtub being cleaned by a toilet brush or jeans being washed with white Tshirts. Better yet, I should probably seek to be so efficient and organized that I stay on top of my tasks and am able to do them the way I think that they should be done. No one is going to be irritated by that.

And when I go to Duncan Donuts, I just order a latte, which they make just like I like it, for at least $1 less than Starbucks.


Katrina said...

Welcome to CFA -- Control Freaks Anonymous. :) More than once, I've had to bite my lip in order to keep critical words inside...when I should just be thankful for the help!

But...I have to agree with you about Dunkin Donuts coffee. Any place that doesn't let you fix it your way...well...I'm not ready to accept that yet!

Dianne said...

Ooh that used to bug me about DD too. Then I felt bad when the one on my way to work (where I used to stop before I switched to Starbucks!) went out of business!

I think everyone has a control freak tendency; it's just that some people let it run their lives. It can make you miserable - that I know from personal experience. I'm learning to just keep my mouth shut too and I'm finding out some things don't really matter so much anyways.

Jennifer said...

There probably should be a club. I honestly think that just knowing that tendency is there helps to curb it--at least prevent it from surfacing with harmful or useless words or complaints.